Being Me and Doing Me

So much has happen in the last few weeks and plus this: For weeks now I haven't been able to sleep I am not sure why. I do know I am changing and realizing new things about myself each day. There are days when I excited happy with all that's around me. Then there those days when I reflect on the bad times and what I don't have in this life and what I want. well the last few days I have come to the conclusion at this tie in my life I finally realizing who I am as woman and becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin. Its interesting how I have involved into this woman I have become I really Loving me. Its nice to know I can love me and most of God's  Love is flowing through me. I wish I didn't have the sad moments in those moment I grow closers to God and learn me and others things about life. I noticed and someone close me brought it to my attention that I a problem with approval. Its is a battle I am not sure where it has come from but I aware and now working on " Doing me" being my myself and not worrying about who what when where acceptance. I can only be myself another wise friend told me and I this that's right I can only be Syreeta. Truly I am unique, beautiful, smart and most loving. Today more than every I can only be me and doing me to the fullest. Do I care about people yes will I care about the things they say about me anymore or check in with people to see if it accept NO. I am grown glowing woman to know I accepted and Love by God and He is my only judge.  I guess I am in Love with the new me.

Lifted Veil and pulling layers off

This blog is a interesting I am not sure how I feel right a part me is mad and the other part is rejoicing  for what is to come. Well I this blog will be short it is sweet like me. Here I go straight to the point I have come to the understand that God has lifted a veil and He is pulling back layers of things I could not see before that I see now. I see things in a wider focus than I did before. Right now I know more than ever that the God I serve knows best for me. I will rely on him for answers to all life's questions, forget asking people. Most of the time they have motive behind it or haven't prayed about themselves. Well as I get bed I pray that tomorrow is a better day than today. I am pressing forward towards a goal that God created for me. Be blessed and know He is with me and I know now more than ever He is listen to my prayers. I read a list today that I wrote seven years ago and He showed me that I have to trust Him to get wants on that paper. Well lets just say I am stepping out on Faith believing and claiming I have the Victory ( I can grab its so close.) In Jesus Name Amen

Ready or not her I come .... the clear focus Rita Rita Watch out

Me Day and Changes

Today is Me Day for now on on Mondays will be Me day. Its time for myself and focus on me day. I want to get it started before I have a family then when I might change the day but I will now have a day week for me. I deserve it and I need it. Just thinking of the possibilities of wanting to make myself feel good and do things for myself seem so strange but think about when you have time to have date with yourself and relax or just do nothing. I have ideas for my me day today I am going to do. Today I want my nails done and a new comforter set but I think it will be nails. I like having my nails done and I honestly don't like going to stores are this time of year. And I will find some good Ice cream watch a movie from Redbox. Oh Well I will do whatever I want after work.

God is changing me into a new woman. I am so happy and I am praying that day. Anyway I am able to see that I capable and able to do more that I can image. Thanks to God and his mighty hand He has over my life. I have complete joy in knowing my dreams will come true and I am who He says I am. Strong Beautiful and Smart woman of God.
So me day is for me to strengthen and build upon what God is doing in my life and prepare for the life he has promise me. ( Plus my future husband will want to watch Monday night football in peace in quiet.) :-D. Well that's all for now. Peace Love and Me time yes.

Cleansing Stream Retreat

After the confussion comes clarity and after clarity comes the want to do more. Well those who have been around me or know me knows that I have not been the same after my divorce well I am here to say I will never be ther same I am now a stronger and smarter Syreeta. Now that doesnt mean I dont make mistakes and I do, it also doesnt mean I dont hurt people. It has been my intent in life to be set free and to know my true vlaue in life. I mean I have been through a lot of retreats and have many people speak over my life telling I worth more than rubies, I have even read it but last night when the glory of the Lord Holy spoke over is the only clear time that I realized that I am truly a woman who is who more than God. I am worth to get my hearts desires and more. So as day to starts I am open to release all ready to step the next level with my God. 
Have many blessings

Waiting - " What Am I waiting for ?"

Is a question I get asked at least four times a week, when people find out I don't have children and my age.
 I simple reply with "I will do it alone." My Plan and God's plan are the same I think in this way I think it takes a man and a woman to raise a child. Some people would argue with me about it but seriously I am a product of a single parent home and I since my mother struggle plus try to manage to find a mate with three girls. I experience the "looking for love in all the wrong places." I decided a long time ago I want to rise a child with a mother and father in the same house.

Then I get the question then why are you waiting so long to find a man to make babies.
I say its not me who is control of when I have children it is God the father who is in control. I am trying to make a point to please him in all I do. When He wants me to be in a relationship  and be a mother  is his say not mine. Because it was my say I would be a mom along time ago.

I do find myself getting closer to what God wants me to have. I will keep praying that I will have a clear understand and know it is Real man God intend for me to have for life and we later make LOVE babies (3-4). To answer the question what am I waiting for well I waiting to mature into the Virtuous woman God is molding me to be and a that man (mmm ) who is ready to step out on Faith and handle all the goodness Syreeta has to offer. Trust God for all things. Well these are things I am waiting for and only God knows how long. 
What are the chances of me finding a man who can and wants to be me ? I will say they are very high since I have learned and know what I deserve in this life and hey I may already know him who knows :-) . Time will tell.

What a girl wants well how about What a Woman wants

I was on my way to bed an realize I have to vent so here it goes. I want things in this life that some would say is impossible but for me as believer I will not allow myself to believe its impossible. So tonight I am listing the things Syreeta wants in this life time call it a bucket list or dream list or goals. Here I go;
1. Grow spiritually each everyday
2. I want to have real Love from a man- have had my share of pretenders for more than one woman's life time. ( For details contact me ) It might be a future blog topic
3. I want to be blessed with children ( yes i know I am getting older but hey I can do it) I am not to old to have three babies by the time I'm 40. ( Wow)
4. I want to get paid and enjoy what I am doing, get paid double what I make now before I am 35
5. I really want to be debt free and leave money my children and the their children
6. I want to be a healthy weight that a Dr. will not complain about but I don't look sick. ( Since I join a gym last month that's not far off.)
7. I want to write a autobiography ( I think people would buy it)
8. I would like to own more property ( by 42)
9. I would love to visit Down Under and enjoy Sydney
10. I want to go on Alaska cruise with my family ( my husband and kids :) )
11. I want to marry a man and we grow old together like in the notebook, he wheel me around the old folks home.
12. Missionary work I want help God's children and families share the gospel
13.I want to ride in a hot air balloon with a special person and enjoy it
14. I want to go to Napa Valley  wine tasting
15. I want to cuddle and do nothing all day and not have to think about the time.
16. I want to be described as the woman you read about in Proverbs 31 ( Life time goal)
17. I want to respect and love my future mate no matter what and stop and listen rather than talk. ( cause it he might be right and even if he is not I will make it seem like he is :-) )
18. I want to read a book month< maybe start a book club.
19. I want to see and experience more of North America and beyond
20. I want to be happy with just being quiet listening and watching the wonders of God's world ( Nature)

OK that's twenty of what Syreeta wants I am sure there is more to come. Please note they not in any order its all what has spilled out of me at this time. I Love the Lord and I will Praise Him for the rest of my days. I know I will have days sorrow what I do know that He has the power to pick me up and dust me off and bring me back to who He feels Syreeta is and I will continue to claim him and be his child. No weapon form against shall prosper. Therefore I know all these things in the above list will come true as I continue to trust the Lord in all areas of my life. I receive and claim it, In Jesus Name Amen.
 If you stand in agreement with me comment on this Blog.

Prayer....

This Blog is written to my Lord my Savior:
Dear Lord,
Father God help me to have dicrenment on the choices I make. Father help to understand the I am a woman of God and you have created me.  Father God help me to understand that I am a child of God who can move mountains. In the world there can be many distractions from what you have planned fro my life. Father please forgive me for any sins I have done presently and in past. Father God I want for my life what you want for my life. Father God pleae remove the any generation sins on my life. Father God only through you I will be able to break from the pain and struggle the women in my family have struggle with some all their lifes. Father God help me to get closer to your word and here lately I have falling short to having my quiet time. Father God I want to have your desires for my life. As I listen to your worship music the song says surround me oh Lord. Father surround me with your Holy Spirit and Father protect me from this fight /battle against me. I Love you Father I will continue to strive towards the journey you have for me.
In Jesus Mighty Name
Amen

Daily lessons . . .

It seem each day is a learning lesson here lately I have been learning a lot about myself . It has been a struggle but I beginning to see all that I desreve plus understand that I am capable to do much more. I have now worked out more this month than I have in the last five years. I find myself in a better palce than I was a year ago and that speaks volumes. Right now I am in the process of letting go rushing through life and I want to have a family but it is not what God is calling me to right now. Because right its about me and me getting to know myself. Now do I want it yes but I am learning it will all come when it is time and the right time could be around the corner and I will have to be ready. This is the another reason for me to understand myself and express myself more because I dont want to have the same relationship I had before were its all about the man I am with. It important now that I know the man I am with and he knows me and we learn about each other everyday. Its funny to me that I would be where I am today I come to realize I will step out on faith say I feel and continue to grow. As my plans have changed but God's plan for me is right in order. So I will shut up and continue to learn my daily lessons. He is presenting with guidance...

My Eyes

My Eyes are often reference as beautiful. If you only knew what is hidden behind these eyes. The happy times, studying time, the painful time. My eyes are usually the first thing people notice after my smile. It has been interest that people ( men) say oh you have the most beautiful eyes, hmm when their the ones who have bought these eyes to tears the most. Even right now I have tears in my eyes from the pain I am felt from guys and it leaves me to wonder why do they make me cry so much. My girlfriend would say its me allowing them to have control over me. Here is the true reason I cry because it is my heart in my eyes and I am a giver I open my heart to all. It is a sentative part of me but is also part of me. I have learned so much from what I have seen through these eyes of mine. Some of things I saw I wish I could see anymore and some things I will cherish for the rest of my life.  My eyes just want to know when will my eyes see and feel love again. My eyes are expriencing a pain way to many times for then to be so beautiful. Please note my eyes have experienced the emotional pain not having  biological father around majority of my life and then to have a step father who loves you but come and goes as he pleases. My eyes I have seen the pain my mother was experienced. My eyes have seen boys, guys, men take advantge of  me even in the most delicate times of life. My eyes have had joy of meeting someone who makes you feel speical then once he not interested or achieve his quest he moves on. My Eyes now they deserve better so they continue to search for the man who can handle and bring joy to a heart that has been broken. A wise man told me once that I must toughen my skin. My eyes are getting a everyday process of getting through daily. Well I have to say the most wonderful thing about MyEyes are they have seen the Word of God and experience the peace in which the Lord brings over MyEyes. The Word brings strenth and support and most of all Love to MyEyes. So all emotional and lack there of that My Eyes have seen it is only the Word of God that bring my security to know that My Eyes will see the man who will Love me no matter what and who will Love me more as much as I Love him. The questions I have ask myself is have My Eyes truly met his eyes yet? My true Father knows the answer I'm praying My eyes are clear to what God wants not what Syreeta wants.

Tomorrow is another day

Today I been finally coming to the reality that God has create me and He alone granted me favor. I feeling so bleassed. although there things I want for my life I am hapy with what God has given me so far. I am happy that each day I am learning something about  Him and about myself. I know it has been hard for the last few years but God never left my side. People have come and gone but He has truly been there for me and I so thankful to have a God who I can call on when my life is moving like a roller coaster. Right now things are not perfect they are a work in progress and with god by myself I will make it through. I have so many people put me down and I am happy to have the Lord who have placed nuggets (people) who have supported me through all the pain and the happy times. Now I am learning its not about making others happy all the time it and It has come a time in my life to focus on who is Syreeta. It is a day to be thankful and when the days dont go so well I have to think about tomrrow is another day and I am able to do all God has called me to do. I have to believe in myself and I have to reframe from negative thinking and neagative people, No matter who they are in my life. I am blessed I will continue to let god lead me through life because my life is God's.

Why

Some close to me ask, " Syreeta why do you want to blog? Do you want everyone in your business?" I say its not about everybody else its about me in this journery of life. I have been through so many things in life that many people would not even understand or know why I keep a smile on my face.  This blog will give me a place to vent and "let down my hair" as they say. Its is a surprise to me to want write when I was once told by a professor that I couldn't and need to quit school to be a hairdress. What she doesnt know is I not only did I finish undergrad I even completed graduate school.  Now as I get to know myself better i realize i have a lot to say and I want so much more for my life. I am making steps towards my future even if i dont know what it holds. This week I joined a gym and this blog will keep recor of this journery as well. I will do this time I see and feel it in my heart.
So anyway back to why, because I am tired of holding back my feelings and express myself without filter. I want to do this regardless if anyone ever read these post. I am a believer  and I am happy have struggles like any other person. Now a days I have found myself wondering why I had not learn let go about life and let God guide me through sooner than I did.
Now dont get me wrong I still struggle with things of a life of single woman in her thrities instead of complaining or worrying I have learned to give it all to God and He will work it out.
Why because I can and will be a blogger. This is the life God gave me and I want to share it. Most of or all of my life I have done things to pleae others this blog will be a place for me to release whatever on my mind and there me be time that other may not agree it has to be said I am who I am because God made this way and He is working on me daily and I know that I am a Masterpiece.
At first I thought I will have a tough time with this but now I see I am able to this. I am truly thankful to God who is the only one who can make the impossible possible.